once upon a time in Bihar

An Open Letter to Padma shri Priyanka Chopra for creating another sleazy film in Bhojpuri by Nitin Neera Chandra!

Director Nitin Neera Chandra who recently won the prestigious National Award for his Maithli Movie, ‘Mithila Makhaan‘ writes an open letter to the Padma shri Priyanka Chopra condemning the star for the “cheap and vulgar” content in  Priyanka’s first film as a producer, Bam Bam Bol Raha Hai Kashi.

He also said “At a time when my mother tongue Bhojpuri is fighting for its existence, Priyanka has not only defamed herself but also besmirched her Padma Shri award by producing a movie like this.

Watch the trailer below:

An Open Letter To Padma Shri Priyanka Chopra

Dear Padma Shri, Miss Priyanka Chopra.

Congratulations 🙂  Yayyyyyy…Priyanka..Three cheers to you girl..hip..hip..hurray. You successfully made an “A” rated film in Bhojpuri.

Priyanka, You chose the safest route boss, I mean I am so inspired from you. Kasam se. And don’t bother, people who are blaming you for sleaze fest are stupid. Don’t even answer them. Bhojpuri speaking people want “it”. Yes. We are perverts of 3rd degree, as you assumed. I mean I wanted the female protagonist to come in those micro shorts showing her thighs every now and then and that bulging waistline !! Classic, I would say classic. Satyajit Ray should have tried in Charulata or May be Kurosawa in Rashomon in those jungle sequence when robber comes, you remember ? Sorry your film reminded me of Ray and Kurosawa. ab hai hee inti acchi film Bam bam khol rahaa hai… sorry bol rahaa hai..

I did not want to write this appreciation letter before I saw the film. But I did see it today and I was so motivated, I started crowdfunding right outside the theatre in Grant Road for My next film. Pleases give me rights of Bam..Bam bol rahaa..I will remake in 20 Indian languages, Its a movement. Trust me..Nagraj Manjule of “Sairaat” must come and take tips from you “How little sleaze can save your day”. Why not ?

Some people are saying “Bhojpuri is already molested, damaged, raped…etc by other film makers”. Cry babies, seriously. But I am in your favour as you can see. I mean what with a language and identity. How would people enjoy if there is no cleavage, no double meaning dialogues.

See, keep one thing in mind, bhojpuri the language is not your responsibility, When it is not even Bihar govt’s responsibility. Why you ? Those people who are from this language they have to look after it. You need to make content which should be Box office Blast. Be it sleaze, skin show whatever. Aapko bas paise banana hain. I am supporting you. See people from UP and Bihar living in Lokhandwala, Shastri Nagar, in all parts of Andheri west to Kandivali are already creating so much sleaze in their Bhojpuri films, and see how some immature kids are pouncing on Super star Quantico girl for creating a little skinshow, double meaning dialogues, and explicit sexual innuendoes. are kyaa fark padta hai. Don’t even give two hoots about it. But Priyanka you won’t be able to do this in Marathi, sadly those people love their language so much and they have kept their legacy of culture and literature so nicely and gracefully that they might get violent. But Hey…don’t worry…create more sleaze in my language Bhojpuri next time. I will see. But please next time a little more cleavage haan (please please..personal request hai yaar) even in scenes of death, mother in hospital, father’s cremation, brother’s marriage classroom scenes, I mean anywhere.

Ab dekho aisa film banao kee kam se kam 50 % Bhojpuri bolney waaley ullu baney. As for now only 5 – 10 percent bhojpuri speaking people are victims/ audience of Bhojpuri cinema. But if you, the Padma Shri, Quantico Star, Indian Super Star, Ex – Miss World will create skin show, it will bring new revolution. No, trust me, I am not joking.

You know the best parts of your film. Let me do the honours : –

I hope some FTII guy like Gajendra Singh reads this and put this as part of curriculum for 3 year Directing course. So these are the parts…

1. You keep referring your female protagonist as “maal”. Why not ? Some people are crying hoarse about women respect empowerment kind of shit. “Maal” is perfectly fine. Bhojpuri girls can be referred as that. Because “freedom of speech and expression is there naa”. Art hai baba… 😉 
2. In one of the scenes, an actor points to the male Genitals and refer that as “Dahej”. Male Genitals = Dahej. See, while I was directing my first film this profound idea never came to me. Some might say this is regressive and patriarchal. Don’t even listen to them. Off course male sexual organs are dahej. Because the whole virility of man comes from there. How will he “do” that to prove himself a man. So thumbs up to that. Yayyy….
3. In another scene An actor says, “jawan gaadi (woman) par tu sawaar(ride) hokhe ke chaahtara okraa par pahileheen se kehu baa…Offcourse men has to ride women, again people need to know that, Kamasutra was written in Bihar, and still no sex education.
4. You made your female protagonists show her skin relentlessly, in every kind of scene. I have no problem with that because after all what are women for and in Bhojpuri Cinema. Oh come on.
5. You are master again because your trailer refers to the keys in Navel and very smartly you remove navel and place something else. Hmmmmm Smart smart girl. See don’t be surprised if London Film School gives you an honorary Doctorate after this film is seen by them.

Here are some profound lyrics which even Gulzar or in older times Hazrat Jaipuri or even Varun kind of stalwarts could not think.

“bamkal baa jawaani, ham naai bas mein, bedheli ba nas hamara nas mein….” – I am on fire, I am out of control, I am so high that it has entered in my veins..
“topey waalaaa samaanaa tu dekhaaw taaru…facebook pe like badhaawataru..” The thing on your body which should be covered you are showing on Facebook to get more likes…
Bolero ke chaabhi se shod dehle naabhi – He shoves the car keys in My navel (You changed the lyrics in the movie, why this manipulation ?)
Your mother said you were raised in Bhojpuri parivesh and rightly so.

6. And how did you do that, showed varanasi in promos and no Varanasi in the film…Hmmm again smart ..smart girl…You made my day Chopra Ji. You are putting out all your trade expertise and secrets in first film itself and all we Bihari/Bhojpuriya youth is so damn inspired.

I will end now, other wise people will come to know that this Nitin guy is so chepo, makhan lagaaa rahaa hai.

See, even if someone say “I accuse you of “selling sleaze in Bhojpuri Cinema for money”. Don’t bother. Just show them the middle finger. Because when Industry is already marred with sleaze and sex and violence in Bhojpuri Cinema Why the superstar Piggy Chops, sorry Padmshri Priyanka chopra can not create her own little sleaze fest in Bhojpuri. I request you to make more films like this and buy the whole bloody Andheri west. These rickshaw walas, thela walas, sabzi walas, pan shop owners, school drop outs, small time pick pocketers, they are the audience and we have to keep them like that so that they keep coming to theatres.

Best wishes..and more power to you Priyanka. Hail Priyanka..the master of masters…jitney bolton kam hai.

aapkaa aur sirf aapkaa badkaa go fan..

– Nitin Chandra

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PatnaBeats Staff

Born in Bihar, brought up in India!